Birth of Draper John | Infertility + Embryo Adoption Pensacola, FL

Draper’s story began 12 years ago at the Center for Reproductive Medicine in Alabama. He was frozen as an embryo in 2009. And there he waited… as his siblings were chosen from the embryos around him. One after another.

Meanwhile, Molly + RJ were dating, getting married, and trying endlessly to have a baby of their own. For seven years they endured surgeries, fertility drugs, egg retrievals, #IVF, four miscarriages… Finally deciding to look into embryo adoption. 

Some might call it a coincidence that this is when Draper’s embryo came up for adoption. But I call it divine. I know this perfect little boy (who latched like a pro on the first try, barely cries, already sleeps thru the night, and looks JUST like Molly) was set aside to heal the hearts and bring joy to one of the most lovely, engaging, and kind-hearted couples I’ve ever met. Their pairing couldn’t have been anything less than God’s plan. 

The moment Molly heard her baby cry for the first time… well that was the highlight of my night (and the moment in the slideshow that I burst into tears every. single. time.)

Press play below to watch Draper’s birth story. 

This is such a beautiful story and I wish I had amazing things to say about Molly’s birth experience to go along with it. But unfortunately the experience was everything she didn’t want. She really hoped for a natural birth, but ended up with an avalanche of early interventions, a long and frustrating induction that she wasn’t convinced she needed in the first place, and when labor stalled at 6cm and all options to generate progress were exhausted—a c-section.

Although Molly + RJ remained gracious and in good spirits, everyone came though healthy and adequately cared for (medically at least), and even though is entirely possible that it would have always had to end in a c-section, we were all left feeling like there were missed opportunities for things to have happened differently. Because birth experience matters. Even when you and your baby are safe and together, it can be extremely difficult to reconcile the loss of your ideal birth when you had questions about alternative options that weren’t thoroughly answered and hesitations that were not assuaged with empathy. Ultimately, being ok with a disappointing birth experience hinges on knowing that you were seen, heard, respected as a valuable participant in your own care, and that you feel your provider made every effort to help you get the birth you wanted.

I usually try to keep my posts positive, but I really felt compelled to share this experience as an encouragement to always listen to your gut when it comes to your healthcare. Don’t be afraid to advocate for yourself. If you don’t have peace about the proposed plan you can ask for more time, alternative options, additional/repeat testing, or get a second opinion. Maybe it won’t change the outcome or even how you decide to proceed. But you will have the peace of mind that comes with knowing you did everything you could, made fully informed choices, and don’t regret the unexplored options.

You might not be a doctor, but you do know your body better than anyone else. Healthcare, especially in pregnancy, should be a collaborative effort between you and your doctor or midwife.

Thank you for coming to my Ted Talk.